Watching the Unschooling Pieces Crumble - Part 7 of Dealings With a Guru

Response to Sparkling Martins blog 2:

It is apparent to me that Dayna has no intention of actually coming clean about anything solid. The lies and cover ups will continue as long as I am pushing her and everyone else to face the truth. That is fine. I am here for the long haul if I need to be. At some point I will get to the end of manipulations I am responding to, but no end in sight for now.

So there is a commenter on my first blog that refer to themselves as I AM. I feel comfortable bringing this up because Dayna responded to this person in her last blog post. To share a bit of information, my husband and I were told by Dayna that this person came to the RE conference in 2012 and appeared at her door at 3am one night. When Dayna opened the door, I AM busted through the opening and knocked her to the ground. This person demanded that she tell him she loved him and that he threatened her life. The conversation the two had was in regards to the fact that Dayna had told her husband everything about the relationship between the two and I AM was furious. She was told to never speak again or this person would kill her, so she pretended she loved him to calm him down and he left. Dayna confided in us and said that no one else knows about this and to please not tell anyone because I AM would kill her for sure. Ok, I know that is very confusing, but I explained this lie because in Dayna’s blog post, she claims that her husband now knows about the physical relationship between her and I AM. So, which is it? Did you tell your husband about this months ago and that is why I AM got angry at the conference or did you tell him after I AM posted what they did on my blog? It no longer matters since it is all a lie anyway, but I needed to touch on that because I am interested to watch the outcome of what this person has on Dayna. Patiently watching to see what the truth is.

The new challenge you have put forth on your latest blog is interesting Dayna. I have a question. How will these people come forward? Will the messages come through your blog or will they come through Joe’s facebook account? I am certain that you have taken steps to ensure this cannot actually come to fruition, such as maybe blocking those families from seeing your blog or maybe you paid them to keep them quiet or maybe it involved a threat to keep quiet? I am writing this and saying I do not know the plan here. I would like to see what happens, though. Again, patiently waiting.

Something that is really standing out to me, are the people coming forward to tell me that they have not had an experience with Dayna, per se, but that the words that she uses in her conversations mirror that of the sociopath in their own lives. Many wrote to me to say that someone finally understands what they have gone through and they are so happy to have support. I even had someone mention yesterday that it almost seems like there is some unwritten law of language that all sociopaths share. This is a very interesting concept to me. Here is the kicker. I have my attachment to the Dayna situation because that was my experience, but Dayna is not even special anymore, it seems. She is turning out to be just a regular sociopathic personality that got away with scamming hundreds of people before she got exposed. Anyway, I am truly grateful for the experiences that people have shared with me and I am very comforted by the fact that I have helped to facilitate further healing for those that are not even connected to this particular issue.

I would like to touch on the posts from Joe’s account that involve the subject of legal matters. I will not go in to all the legal explanations again, but what I want to say to those who are offering to put money towards a legal fund for the Martins, please be careful. I do understand that you want to support what you believe in, but at least expect accountability. There should be complete transparency in what they use the money for, otherwise, this may simply become another business for them to live off of. Please watch your back, that is all I am saying.

There is much concern for the wellness of the next conference that happens in August here in Texas. The Rethinking Everything conference is very special to me and I absolutely hate seeing it destroyed the way it has been this year. I am no longer involved, as I refuse to have anything to do with a Martin run establishment, but I so hope that after this year, it can somehow bounce back to its earlier form. There is great worry among those that are still planning to attend and I fully understand why. A side effect of what I am doing here is that many innocent bystanders will be affected negatively. I am truly sorry and I do hope that the conference can bring a sense of community, at the very least. A message was posted in a facebook group that explained very well, the fears of those who are registered and this person is concerned that the conference will turn in to a he said, she said convention. I do not wish this for anyone and I wanted to share my response to that post, so that maybe you all can see it is not the conference organizer that builds the community. It is the community itself. My response……

“Please make it whatever you need it to be, for you, even if it ends up as a 6 day picnic with everyone sleeping in tents! You guys can do this! Do not have attachment to what it will look like. Just know it will be wonderful and you can build something even stronger next year. Also, be prepared for something to happen that may send even bigger shock waves through the community soon. The entire truth needs to come out so that the ENTIRE unschooling community can heal as a cohesive unit. Team Green and team Martin should not exist for much longer.”

Here is blog 2 from Dayna: http://thesparklingmartins.blogspot.com/

To respect copyright laws, I have left out the bulk of their blog post. Please see the Sparkling Martins or myself for the full content.

"Perfect Storm

Are you kidding me? I don't feel safe anymore. My personal messages and conversations with my closest friends and family have been made public. I left my Facebook account open in Texas and my personal account was violated.

I have received threatening messages. Our family is in crisis, as are our friends who we love dearly."

My responses…….

·         Am I kidding you? No, I am not. You are leading people to believe that I hacked in to your facebook account and took advantage of you, while you state clearly here that you left it open. Not only did you leave it open, but you did so in grand style by leaving it open on 8 different devices in our home, including my children’s ipads. You are always on top of deleting everything you write that could be traced back to you, so I assume this is why you do not make sure that you log out of anything.

·         Another issue is how you claim that I am the one involving children, but I didn’t even know there was anything left open in your name until you were gone and my daughter complained that she was receiving notifications constantly. At this point, I knew you were lying and I chose to not log you out on her ipad just yet. I then sat back and watched the lies unfold.

·         You were not violated. It was actually the other way around. I was violated because you continued to lie to people about me and I would have never known the real you without watching these conversations unfold. Keep in mind, if I was this hateful person you make me out to be, I could have deleted every group that you are a part of or had started, I could have unfriended every single one of your fans, and I could have just done away with your entire account all together. It could have been a swift ending to the main connection you have to people, but I did not do that. I am actually not a malicious person. I only paid attention to what involved me personally.

·         I do not believe you have received threatening messages. Why would you? I haven’t received one threatening message, which seems a bit odd if you are receiving many. I discussed this in blog 6, so no need to revisit all of this except to remind you to call the authorities if you are being threatened. If your family and friends are in crisis, I am truly sorry because it is not at all my intention. The person at fault here is you, though, and you could end this now and release your friends and family from attempting to stick up for your lies and deceit. You did this to yourself.

·         Texas was a shit storm because you were here, not because we are. You call our relationship toxic, but you had the full ability to leave it at any time. The truth is that when we finally decided enough was enough, you would not leave until we packed you and I told you that you did not have a choice. We then had to physically walk you to the car because you could not walk straight. It is interesting that you could not walk straight, yet you attempted to shove my husband down on the bed in the RV right before leaving.

·         I cannot even fathom what you are thinking when you talk about the challenging family that had too many expectations that you were not prepared for. Let me clearly remind you that this was your second trip to come help them. They did not request your services the second time, you actually requested to come and told them to gather the money quickly because there were other families wanting your services and you wanted to give this family top priority. There must be a legal term for what you did there? The bottom line here is that you knew what a challenge the family was. You were just here with them 4 weeks earlier. Your argument here has no validity.

·         So, it was bad here and you take ownership for it. What are you taking ownership for? I am still waiting for some shred of evidence that you plan on coming clean about anything at all.

·         There are no messages of hate and cruelty that are spreading regarding your infection that was so horrid you thought you may have cancer (message to Joe). You made up a story about leaving a tampon inside yourself for two weeks to treat a UTI. I am still trying to explain that one. Anyone that knows anatomy will surely understand that you do not treat a UTI from another opening in your body. You alluded to the doctors that you had just found the tampon that morning and removed it yourself, so there was no evidence. They had to take your word for it. The fact that the doctors gave you IV Advil speaks volumes. You must have seemed like a drug seeker to get that special drug because I am a nurse and have never even heard of IV Advil. Let me also remind you that you were on your death bed so much that you went and got a new tattoo while still on antibiotics.

·         If your children are reading these it is probably a good idea. The younger ones aren’t affected unless you allow that and the older ones are old enough to take what they need to from these blogs and maybe get to know their own mom. If they are being hurt it is because you are continuing to lie and present a mom that is not the real deal. Also, you were not at all concerned about your children seeing anything back in October 2012 and you were certainly not concerned with all 7+ children in our group at Scarborough Faire who got a tour of the bar and got to watch you go french kiss a stranger.

·         Why can’t we just talk? That is a really good question. We tried to talk to you at least 30 times about everything while you were here and I sure would have loved to talk after you went back home. I believe the answer to that is in the end of your fake apology letter to me that stated you hope I can heal from this and carry this burden alone because I am not able to contact you back for “obvious reasons”, i.e. Joe will find out and beat you. I do love how you say that to every person that decides to break ties with you. It is always someone else’s fault. That includes Laurie Couture, Kelly Halldorson, and Jamie La Salla, to name a few. After they and I were pretty much done trying, you then claim it is time to talk and the end of the friendship is all on us.

·         Your 12 years as a professional are a joke. You become an expert in everything you do and present yourself as someone who cares about the greater good, but what you care about is greater fame and wealth. Your charity cases are done so that you can tell everyone about how wonderful you are, which means you are still only doing it to make yourself look better. If you really wanted to help people you would just do it and not advertise yourself as this person who offers things for free.

·         We have covered what slander really is and that is actually what you have done to everyone else. It is not what I am doing here. By saying that I knew too much almost sounds like you are hinting at the truth, but no dice. It is still completely my fault that you manipulate and lie to everyone.

·         Humanity has nothing to do with what is happening. This is all you and as I have said before, you can end this at any time.

Blog comment.....

Darlene said...

"I am Daynas mom and have kept quiet UNTIL now! I have a few things to say and really must say them. I am shocked beyond belief to think that Jen went through my daughters facebook messages and has now sent them to others. That is such an invasion of privacy it is unreal. What kind of honorable, kind person would do such a despicable thing.In my world if someone did that their credibility would be out the door.. Gone! Do you have any idea Jen how I feel knowing my private messages to my baby girl have been read by you and whoever else you chose to let read them? It hurts my heart so much! These are my private thoughts to my daughter- I feel I have been raped and there is nothing I can do about it is there? You will justify this I am sure.
Dayna has admitted she has made mistakes- she has apologized- she is willing to talk it through but you continue on with the hate campaign and I do not understand it at all . Who does this?? What do you want her to do so you will stop?
Dayna is now getting hate mail and I am afraid - for her and for the children. These are my 4 little grand babys that I adore. They do not deserve to hear and read all of this about their mommy. If you were really a good kind person you would have handled this in a different manner, Hate just breeds hate so --
You want to see Dayna hurt and damaged- mission accomplished. You have done what you set out to do Jen! We are all hurting by this as a family. Why?? Not only are you attacking my daughter you are hurting everyone involved and you justify it by saying people have to know the truth! Whose truth?? We all see others differently and we all look up to who we want to?? No one should ever have to bare this kind of pain you are trying so hard to inflict here. It is wrong!! Plain and simple"

July 16, 2013 at 10:00 AM

To Darlene – I do not care one bit about anything in those conversations that were not relevant to me personally. I believe the invasion of privacy is null and void at this point. Facebook was left open and I saw what I needed to know to regain my own sanity. I think what you are really concerned about is that someone knows the truth about the stuff you discussed. I don’t care about normal daily chit chat, only what you said about me and there was quite enough said. I believe the word evil was used to describe me after you saw a picture of mine back in early May. Can you tell someone is evil by a picture? Was it my dreadlocks that scared you? It is interesting how you claim I have no credibility, yet you believe what your daughter says, while I sit here with actual evidence to back up my claims. Did you seriously say that you feel like I raped you? In literal sense, I believe that is what Dayna did to my husband, but figuratively, I think it is what Dayna has done to every single person she has ever received money from. What Dayna has done is not an apology. She has simply typed words to make it sound like she was admitting to something. What is she apologizing for exactly? She is sorry she got caught. There is nothing more to it. Whose truth do people need to know? That would be the actual truth, please. I get there are versions of this and that people see things through different filters, but there is no mistaking that Dayna is indeed a fraud. This is the truth I am interested in. I agree that no one should have to bare this pain. That is why I am here; to stop her from eliciting this much pain in so many families.

There continues to be a reoccurring theme here where many of those who comment are deciding to stay blind to the actual information that I have presented. This is fine, but I cannot even respond to someone who does not read both sides of this. I feel no need to respond to anyone other than your mom this time. I did notice that you let a negative comment slip through, so that is good news. The problem with that comment is that you let it through because they were talking to your mom and not you. Throwing your mom under the bus is ok, but nothing bad about you was let through until your later blogs and even those were only partly negative. Ok, so this is all of my response to your second blog. I am sorry it is taking so long to get back to you. Hopefully I can respond to other blogs more quickly.