When things happened in May, I did not have a plan.
I hoped that the Martin Machine would find a way to repair herself and life
would go back to semi-normal. If you have dealt with a sociopath, you will
understand the confusion that they leave you with. You think to yourself, did
this shit just happen? You honestly have to sit and ponder to make sure you are
not the one who is nuts. In my case, I was lucky enough to have a group of friends
to discuss the madness with. We literally had to piece together what happened
to us. It was not only that we had all been deceived as a group, she also attempted
to damage each of us individually, trying to escape with her façade intact. As
mentioned in blog 1 and seen on my facebook wall, Dayna is not used to dealing
with such a cohesive group. She prefers to kick you while you have no backup.
In our search to discover clarity, we each shared our experiences and
discovered she would tell 5 lies, to 5 different people, in 5 minutes. It was
that bad. It was like we were a forensic team, looking for the murderer in a
clue game.
The reason I explain this is because Joe has now alluded
to the fact that I must be lying because, who keeps track of all of this stuff?
He mentioned that it was premeditated and I planned to take her down from the
beginning. I never planned to take anyone down. I wanted healing for her and to
protect the unschooling community from any further harm she could cause. Yes, I
kept every word of every message between us. No, it was not because I planned
to take her down. I have wondered what to do. Who do I warn? Who is not going
to cause a backlash for me? Who can I trust? Who really cares? And while I sat
with my wondering, I watched Dayna be herself. I saw her setting new people up
to take our place. I saw her tell one person to do something and I saw her go to
another friend and say I cannot believe that this person did this. I watched
her successfully ruin the only conference home I know and turn it in to the
Dayna Rock Show Conference. It fucking pissed me off that she tainted something
I love. I still didn’t alert the media. Little stuff came up about her new speaking
gigs in the political forum she knows nothing about and there was more talk of
her TV gig in the UK as the unnanny. I was pretty distraught and then she
started messing with people again last week.
I found out on Wednesday, July 10th, that
Dayna was lying to people out in the open, only they did not know it. There
were RE registrations that people wanted to sell, so after speaking with Dayna,
these individuals posted the offers on the RE conference page. She waited until
evening and deleted every post that she did not want people seeing. Sound
familiar? It was noticed in a big way as soon as one person went to look for
their post and asked where it went. Several of them posted to her on the RE
page, she deleted them. People sent her emails, she said, oh sorry, I thought
you already sold them, just post them again. They did, she deleted them again.
She offered to take their names and match them up with buyers and then even
deleted her own message. She wanted people to shut up. Deleting is her method
of control and this time her method of control put me over the edge.
I decided that this had to be said, so I sat down on
Thursday and wrote for two full days. My first blog was posted on Friday
evening, I expected a few comments and questions, and that was really it for
now. I knew there would be more blog posts, but I did not know what they would
be or when they would happen. I only knew that I hoped I would soon be able to
post the experiences of the unnanny mom, Patti Stephens, and her family and
maybe down the road, my husband will share what he can. Well, I got up this
morning to see if I needed to respond to anyone and there was a post from Josha
Grant, on her wall, in support of Dayna. Well, crap, it looks like blog 2 needs
to come out already and Josha will get to be the subject. Go Josha! Of course
she will support her friend. Josha is her closest and dearest friend that Dayna
speaks badly about. Why wouldn’t she believe Dayna and her story? So, I read
the words in Josha’s post and got the sneaking suspicion that she is attempting
to make me look like I ignored any sign that Dayna was being nutty and I just
decided to get back at a person because I was bored. So, here is the post from
Josha, this morning, for those who have not seen it………
·
Josha Grant
52 minutes ago
“For those in the unschooling community there has been some 'tell all' madness on the internet about my good friend Dayna Martin I went to bed with a heavy heart last night feeling into all the energy that has been activated around it. A very deep sadness as to how humanity and pain body's can be so cruel (the gathering of bashers in the comments that I have not bothered to read but have heard about).....
52 minutes ago
“For those in the unschooling community there has been some 'tell all' madness on the internet about my good friend Dayna Martin I went to bed with a heavy heart last night feeling into all the energy that has been activated around it. A very deep sadness as to how humanity and pain body's can be so cruel (the gathering of bashers in the comments that I have not bothered to read but have heard about).....
If
Jenn Green believes what she is saying then she has just outed a person who she
is insinuating is in a physically abusive relationship, is suicidal, a closeted
lesbian. All in the name of taking down the fraud that is Dayna Martin. ugh!
Her stories of Dayna saying she is in terror that Joe find out.....cool so now the
"abuser" has this thrown in his face and Jenn can have a beating on
her conscience. Or perhaps Dayna is horrified and confused about her being
outed as a lesbian and we find her at the end of the rope......really ???
really ?? I know Dayna and I am confident that she will move through all of
this in her time. The whole socio path thing is just bullshit too, I love how
people make arm chair diagnosis because "they have been reading up on
it". There is so much more back story to all of this, there always is, and
where there is drama there is opportunity for growth and healing. And for those
who have no idea what I am talking about, good for you!
Hay kids here is how you be in the
world when someone isn't doing what you want them to do or behaving or healing
or whatever, or you are feeling so hurt and powerless just hit them with a
shame shit storm on the internet. yeah let's do that...”
Hhhhhhmmmmmmm, do you think that Josha somehow has the idea that I really
still believe any of this stuff about Dayna? I mean, yes, sociopath is
definitely a checkmark on her crazy application, but abused, suicidal, lesbian?
No. Actually, if I were worried about those things still, I probably would have
sent a note to a friend. Maybe a therapist friend who could really help Dayna
to heal. Oh, wait, I did do that in my efforts to help Dayna get help when she
was in the middle of her psychotic breakdown in Texas. So, to let you know
about the great friend that Dayna has in Josha, here is the conversation Josha and
I had in May, a day after Dayna left my home. There is a name blanked out in the
conversation, to protect the confidentiality of a person that offered Dayna a
safe place to stay, away from children.
We
have a problem. I feel like you can be trusted, of course, so that is why I am
writing to you. Joe knows nothing of anything that has occurred here. Point
blank, Dayna is having a nervous breakdown and has not been sober since she has
been here. We had to kick her out of our home because she got mean, violent,
and angry. She has completely blown the unnanny situation and is now at *****
house, for safety purposes. She was also asked to leave the unnanny families
house. Here is my hope and best scenario......... She is breaking down from not
being authentic with herself her entire life and she is using alcohol to
medicate. I hope, hope, hope that is all it is. The story she has told everyone
is that she is sick with a UTI and needs to get better. That is all Joe knows
and I don't plan to tell him otherwise, but if she goes home tomorrow and does
not face her demons, I am afraid of what will happen. She has threatened
suicide, just so you are aware. I don't know what to do aside from hoping for
the best because she is not able to comprehend anything I have tried to help
her through. I will answer any questions you may have, as I do not think it
will benefit her to just continue keeping secrets. Uuggggggg!
Holy
crap! I am afraid of what I just told you......
Josha Grant
If
this is not april fools you
should tell her to call me **********
Im
not with her. She is at *****.
Josha Grant
Ahhh.....is
she still coming home on schedule? This must be hard for you too.
We
are torn the fuck up. I want to help her, but can't. She needs more help than I
can offer and it sucks. My friend (unnanny client) is also completely ripped
apart after taking care of Dayna for 2 days. Trying to support her has been
impossible because she can't remember 90% of what has happened. We can talk to
her and 5 minutes later she doesn't remember what is going on or even where she
is. I mean, it is fucked. My biggest fear is that she goes home and convinces
everyone that she is fine, she just had a rough week, and try to get back in to
her daily routine. I honestly don't think she knows who she is or what love
means or how to not just tell people what they want to hear. She has lied to
every person she has been in contact with since she got here. I did not know
where else to turn and I felt helpless. You are my hope. Not that you are
responsible, but so she has someone close to her that knows she is not ok, even
if she says she is. This. Just. Sucks. So much healing needs to take place for
her.
Oh,
and as far as I am aware, she is still going home tomorrow. That may change and
I may not find out since I basically had to cut ties with her until she gets
home and can function in some normal fashion. I want the nightmare to be over.
I just want her to get the help she needs.
To
give you an idea of the alcohol consumption. She has drank at least a fifth of
vodka each day and stole more alcohol when she left our house to go to Patti's.
My hope was that she would go there and sober up, but she kept drinking. I
thought she would stop drinking once she got to ***** also, but she has
continued there, as well. She jumps around like a quick cycling bipolar, but I
think it could be the alcohol. I also think she is drug seeking. I believe she
takes diet pills all day to stay hyper and then takes sleeping pills at night,
to calm down.
*****
has sent me a message to let me know she is doing better this morning, but that
is no different than her other days. Clear in the morning and then in the
afternoon, the weird behaviors start. I even had to tell her she was no longer
able to use my iPad because she got mad about something and started hitting,
poking, and slamming it down. She has promised a 15 year old that he can come live
with them when she gets back home and she will save him from his mother.
Sorry
about the verbal barfing all over you!
Josha Grant
No
worries, its important in these times to put it all on the table
Nothing
surprises me any more
Wow!
Ok. I'm not sure if that makes me feel better or worse.
Josha Grant
Yeah
i know, right?!
So,
I understand nothing surprises you anymore, but I wonder if any signs of this
have been at all noticeable back at home?
Josha Grant
I
meant people in general.....
I
am not saying i am not surprised and expected something like this from Dayns
but just that, especially during these high vibe times, that big shit is
hitting the fan
So
I was just the lucky one, eh!
Josha Grant
Yeah
i guess so
thank
you for your ear!
Josha Grant
Yeah
no problemo!
I was very saddened to find out that
Josha copied and pasted my messages to Dayna. That is all. Copied and pasted so
they could then talk about me and go on like nothing ever happened, to plan RE
and to screw over as many people as possible in the process. The following
messages are between Josha and I and then Josha and Dayna. They occurred after
I received my fake apology from Dayna, asking me to not say anything, so Joe
doesn’t find out what she has done. I made the difficult decision to break ties
with Dayna completely and to step away from RE.
So,
I have some tough things to let you know. After the events that occurred here,
with Dayna, we had an agreement that she would seek healing and we would
attempt to repair our friendship. She instead went home to continue the lies
and deception, so I don't have a choice, but to cut all ties with her. I am
sad, but I know it is the only choice I was left with. For obvious reasons, I
will not be able to continue with my involvement of RE, regarding attendance
and speaking. I am letting you know because you were putting together the
speaker information. Thank you for all of your past support. Of course, my
biggest hope is still that Dayna will choose to be authentic some day and will
stop hurting those that tried to be her friend.
Josha Grant
Okay
not sure if you have talked to or will be talking to Dayna abot it but I will
forward the info to her as well.....
I
will not be speaking with her further. Her last message to me sealed the deal,
as it was still full of lies and manipulation. Thank you for passing on the
info.
This was the last post I sent to Josha.
I knew that she had no plans to help anyone that was involved, once I found out
my messages were copied and pasted. At this time, I could only imagine that she
was caught up in Dayna’s fame and web of deceit and she could not see through
it. I also still hope that Josha will become, once again, the good person I
assume her to be.
Wow!
You told her everything I said to you....... I had hoped that you would at
least try to be objective to help your friend. Why the fuck did I think I could
trust you?
Now the messages with Dayna and Josha………….
last word from Jenn........
I will not be speaking with her
further. Her last message to me sealed the deal, as it was still full of lies
and manipulation. Thank you for passing on the info......................
next chapter please
try to just sit with self right now
you don't need to convince anyone of
anything
lol.
Right? So interesting
no
other words from her?
Nope
Love
the see ya and then delete
ya.
It was bound to happen
Very
adult
I
manifested that
Not
Ya,
I know. She has a lot of issues and pain that she has with her all the time
she
is never happy
Well, there you go, that’s me. The unhappy painful
person. So, now what? I have spent too much time on Dayna, but also see it
almost as a requirement, so that we can continue to heal and so others can be
reminded to trust themselves. Trust yourself
and not the self-proclaimed guru of the decade. Love your family because
that is all that is important, even while dealing with this.
Whoops, that was supposed to be my last paragraph,
but I learned something new in the last few seconds. As I posted above, there
have been deletions of posts on the RE page that involve some people wanting to
transfer their tickets. Well, the posts have now been deleted again, so
something needs to be done about this. All registrants should have the ability
to transfer their tickets to others if they wish, but my special plea concerns
some individuals who are close to me. My best friend is one of them. She was
involved in the events in May, but has not been named in any of these posts. The
other is Patti Stephens.
To Dayna
Martin:
My best
friend would like her money back please. And at the very least, for the
wonderful unnanny family that you screwed over so horribly, Patti Stephens; do
you think she can have her money refunded also? You do understand that you
screwed these people over and stole their money, right? It's not like they can just go to the conference and act like nothing happened. Hell, you still owe her
for the cost of the plane tickets you used to get here to screw her over. I cannot
imagine that you would, in front of all of your rabid followers, actually continue
to delete these posts and pretend like you are innocent. Refund the money of my
friends. It is your fault they are in this situation.
Jen
...Yes... Yes Dayna DID manifest all of this... It is basic LOA.. You get what you put out there...
ReplyDeleteI am soooooo sorry you are having to deal with this lunatic, and apparently her merry band of followers. Truly sounds like she is very mentally ill. I know you will heal with time, hopefully her many other victims will as well. Btdt, on a much smaller scale, a few years ago. Its not fun.
ReplyDeleteThank you Molly!
DeleteWow just wow. So Dayna thinks you're the messed up one? Wow! I wonder why she was such great friends with you if you're such a screw up? And it's interesting how she uses the law of attraction for the bits of her life that suit her, but when the shit hits the fan she cannot see she manifested this too.
ReplyDeleteLondon, very good points. From what I have seen, she takes her characteristics and places it on others, so yes, she would see me as screwed up, just like she sees others. You can ask why she was such great friends with me, but I could say the same thing. Why was I friends with her if she was so screwed up? Great question! What she is failing to realize is that tha law of attraction works with your intention, not your words. She is now getting what she put out there. It is taking a while to come back to her, but then again, it is taking a while for her to be honest too.
DeleteTo all the people still supporting Dayna Martin - how would YOU like it if you had booked Dayna for an unnanny session, paid her a fortune for this service, and then not only did she not turn up on the first day (lying that you didn't pay the full money) but when she does turn up she's pissed! Yeah you got that guys - she turned up to an unnanny gig pissed! And then proceeded to ignore your kids and complain about them wanting her attention (yeah that's right, Dayna all-loving-child-advocate was complaining the whole time that the kids wouldn't leave her alone). She then starts completely inappropriately using your own child as a sounding board for all her emotional problems, not to mention telling you all about her need to commit suicide. This is the service you've paid for! Did you read that, Dayna worshippers - people paid her money for this. THIS IS THE ISSUE. This is not a personal attack on Dayna Martin's person. Her personal issues are her own. However, when you're charging people money and creating a business based on lies, then yes, the truth needs to be told. Same with her raw food business. She's on Facebook all the time claiming she's 100% raw vegan, selling her raw food services, and yet at the same time I'm hearing about her down in Texas NOT ever eating anything raw but instead eating ribs,, drinking incessantly and surviving on diet pills. Again I don't care about anyone doing this, but I DO care when someone is pretending to be one way in order to sell a business, but behind closed doors it's a totally different story. THIS IS FRAUD! Dayna sells HERSELF as her business. She sells the fact that she's this amazing mother who has so many answers to your problems that she will charge you for her advice. Yet behind closed doors she is NOT this way. She herself yells at her kids, she disrespects them and she unparents them by not being available to them because she is so absorbed in herself and rarely at home. Yet she's selling and charging for the opposite of this. THAT is what I take exception to. And that is why Jen is so brave to put this out there. Too many people have reported the same things, at different stages in time, for there not to be truth in this. Plus the unnanny situation was witnessed by four families, so Dayna cannot possibly lie her way out of this one. If you choose to continue supporting someone who is this sick and deluded, you really need to look inside and ask yourself "why".
ReplyDeleteWow! I can tell you are angry and you have every right to be. Putting your feelings out there will hopefully help you heal, in time. I appreciate everything you said and agree, as well. Thank you for being there to support me in the truth seeking.
DeleteOf course I'm angry, as are many many others. Dayna thinks her person is being attacked here by a disgruntled friend, but it is not about that. It is about the services she's offering and the fact she is conning people. Look at it this way - if you hired a plumber to come and fix a leaky pipe and not only did he not fix the leaky pipe but he left you with another leaky pipe AND charged you, you would be furious with him for not being able to give the service he's charging for and claiming he can do. This is exactly the same as what Dayna is doing, and it's this part I take exception to. I personally don't care how screwed up she is in her private life, but when she's turning her private life into various businesses and conning people in the process, then yes, I feel very angry. It is so important for new radical unschoolers to have this information available should they ever start investigating her, and I thank you again for putting this out there. .
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteI totally agree with the last poster.
ReplyDeleteoh..... this is all so awful :( Just like other RU's i know who have set up amazon accounts so you can send them gifts on their wishlists!!! Unbelievable.
ReplyDeleteIt is all so daunting . It is a shame because radical unschooling is a beautiful way to live, and these kind of people are giving it a bad rep. :(
I feel so bad for the people who have given her money. :(
I am trying to post comments and can't! Help!
ReplyDeleteLifelonglearner, what is happening? This is the first issue I have heard of with comment troubles. How did you get that message to come through? Is it only allowing short posts or something?
DeleteI'm sorry, but HOW AND WHY WOULD SOMEONE BOOK ANYONE to perform a job that has "UN" before the title??? Regardless of which side of the fence someone falls in the issue, it's obvious based on her career alone that everything she does is pre-determined by MONEY.
ReplyDeleteThanks for all this information. I had been planning on attending the RE conference this summer, and am so glad I did not pay for it in advance because I certainly won't be going, now nor ever.
If getting together with other unschoolers/homeschoolers to become more passionate about your choices costs money, and there are vulture capitalists there to prey on you and your children, then no thank you.
If it's free in the future, see you there ;)
I read your blog posts and am upset and even feel embarrassed for you-but good for you to come forth with it.
This type of event doesn't surprise me at all. This is where I feel America is going, for many groups.
I can't believe any person truly holds "guru" status. But I suppose she was on Wife Swap, so she's somewhat of a celebrity? That's hilarious.
And,...how and WHY would any person need help in an area like Unschooling? It's ironic to begin with that this woman makes money on something that parents should be empowered to do themselves. I leaned toward unschooling because, like many parents, felt that public school (and society) necessitated too much control over our children and less freedom. Why do people feel so propelled to follow?
a bit late of a post, and i have no personal experience with DM… i made the mistake of watching tv one night (something i rarely do), and saw this, my first and last episode of "Wife Swap." and while the 'other' mother was a militant control freak, i have to say, knowing nothing about DM or RU (we call ourselves "freeschoolers," more of the sandra dodd camp), i got a sinking feeling each time she was on the screen… like a sort of evil. i know that is a strong word, but that's the feeling i got. cut to now, almost 2 years later, and a project in asheville i am interested in mentioned working with DM… and i want to shout to the rooftops that there is something wrong with this woman, she feels like not only a fraud, but a "malevolent narcissist." she is harming her children. so, my searches led me to this post, thankful to have found it, it really confirms what my gut has been telling me. so, now, 2 things: 1. Mamas and Papas, we choose to homeschool/unschool/freeschool so that we can connect our intuitions with our children's unique qualities. there should be plenty of loving people available who can offer insight, share wisdom, or just have a laugh with in our like-minded communities (whether physical or virtual). Stay away from people who claim to be able to "fix" your problems… you are fine! Great, in fact! if you are in tune with your child, even the most challenging ones, you will find the ways to connect on your own, just give it time, patience. okay, that's my motivational speech for today. and, 2. how to go about "warning" these well-meaning folks at Blue Ridge Liberty Project about this? I have been looking at moving there with my children, and now, seeing their allegiance to DM, i am calling it all into question. which sucks, bc what they are doing seems to be pretty amazing. it would be sad to see such a powerful and well-run group of people tainted by this very troubled person. and just for the record, how can anyone take someone who is living in an alleged abusive relationship as a guru on peaceful anything?! even if that person is "innocent," those psychological scars are powerful and pervasive. and that is not a judgment on this poster, just a question for those still on the DM train… kudos to you for sharing your story. and thank you for your time.
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ReplyDelete